Tales of Oregon

The Bounder

Sunday, September 30th, 2018 - 1:11 PM

I noticed the other day that Connor is a leaps-and-bounds kind of a guy. Molly and young Parker climb down from things or, every so often, leap off of things in a natural way of leaping. Connor, however, bounds off of things by leaping upward. all four feet leaving the ground at the same time. It’s fun to watch but I feel concerned that he may be putting a lot of stress on bones and joints that are still, apparently, rubbery.

Years ago, when “Peanuts” was not a childish children’s cartoon, Lucy was holding a cat. Now, I’m not an experienced cat-holder, and I believe if I ever hold a cat it will be my first time, so I can’t tell you if the cartoon had even a ghost of truth about it, but the point I was trying to get to is this: the cat was draped over her arms like a dishrag, and Lucy remarked: “They’ve finally invented a rubber cat!”

Connor is a rubber dog. The guy drapes over stuff like he’s a jellyfish instead of an Australian Shepherd. It makes me feel uncomfortable just watching him, and I want to stand up and shake the kinks he must be feeling out of me.

Anyway, the little guy leaps and bounds on top of things – mostly Parker – like an ambushing cougar leaping on a lunch bunny, so it was no surprise to me when I first let The Boys out this morning and, as usual, Parker was off to conduct his business while Connor hung back hoping to get his head petted, but secretly preparing for The Great Ambush. Parker came around the corner of the house completely oblivious to his step-brother’s evil intent until, three feet from the porch, Connor made his move.

It was a spectacular bound. High in the air, carrying him quite remarkably across the entire three feet that separated he and Parker. It would have easily earned him perfect 10’s from all the judges had he been squarely on target. Alas, he was off the mark to the left by only a couple of inches, but those inches were enough to start Connor belly-rolling as he careened off Parker. Connor ended his attack with a one-and-a-half twist flourish, and poor Parker found himself bowled over a full 360-degrees, ending right side up but on his belly, and facing away from the porch, having been knocked off course 180 degrees.

And neither of them could figure out what had just happened.

It was a sad spectacle to witness, folks. It was the first time anyone could remember Parker coming around the corner la-de-dahing along on his merry way, with no intention of rushing at Connor, and this is what happens? And for Connor, it was his first attempt at payback for all the times Parker has rolled him over by ramming him, kamikaze style, out in the yard, and it ended up in a spectacular “darned near”.

So it’s a good thing that Connor is a rubber dog.